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The Way it Really Is Mom Blog

Today I'm 40 years old...

Published about 2 months ago • 3 min read

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Hi Reader,

I hope you're having a great week so far.

TW: in addition to talking about my bday, I'll be discussing anticipatory grief and losing my mom.

Today is my 40th birthday, and honestly...I'm not ready.

I don't know how many of you are 40 yet, or near it, but there seems to be a bit of a mind shift when we get to this age.

When I was a kid, back in the 90s, I remember hearing about a 'midlife crisis' where men would get fast cars, and women would want plastic surgery.

But in reality...it's so much more than that.

It's being in perimenopause, which I've been in for a couple of years now, and it's doing our best to raise our children, while often not feeling well ourselves, and not being sure what the future holds for any of us. It's realizing that our body, and even our brain, isn't the way it used to be, sometimes.

For me, it's learning to live in a life without my mom, who is in the last days of her long battle with Alzheimer's, and realizing that I'm likely well past halfway through this life...

Granted, I hope and assume most people aren't losing their mother, who is in her 60s, when they're hitting 40, but 40 is a shift in life, to be sure.

And I'm learning, it's ok to not be ok about it.

I've been talking with others around my same age, and I'm not alone in feeling 'off' right now.

Now, I can assure you, I won't be getting a fast car or plastic surgery. Heck, I don't even wear makeup, but turning 40 with the backdrop of losing my mom any day now is changing something inside of me. Of that I am sure.

I'm sorry I haven't been emailing weekly as I always plan to do. I'll talk more about losing my mom in a subsequent email where I'll also share some tips on creating your own detailed healthcare directive, which your kids will thank you for someday, but the anticipatory grief is hard, and I'm finding it difficult to do all the SAHM and wife things, let alone run a business well at this moment.

I'm not saying I'm changing anything with the business, just that right now, in this season of life, I'm trying to slow down a bit and let myself feel my feelings, and take care of the things that have to be done first, which sometimes leaves little room for the things I'd like to do.

So please bear with me, hug your kids, and your mom if she's still with you, and take care of each other.

Until next time,

Nicole Prom, M.S.Ed., Ed.S.

Founder/Blogger at TheWayitReallyIs.com​

P.S. If you want to read more about what's been going on with my mom, I've been adding to this blog post for the past 8 years: Slowly Losing My Mom to Early-Onset Alzheimer's Disease is so Painful​

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The Way it Really Is Mom Blog

Nicole Prom, Ed.S.

I help moms through sharing honest personal experiences, practical tips, and helpful printables through my blog, The Way it Really Is.com. I’m a stay-at-home homeschool mom of 6-year-old identical twin boys and a 8-year-old boy. My mission in life is to help others, as I did in my former career as a school psychologist, and now do with my blog. Join me and see what The Way it Really Is, is all about!

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