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Hi Reader,

This email is going to be a bit of a heavy one, but it has some important lessons as we, and our parents, age.

As I mentioned previously, it was my 40th birthday on April 14th...and as I can sadly share with you now, my mom died at 12:25 am on April 15th.

Her last gift to me was being able to somehow hold on until it was no longer my birthday to take her last breath.

My mom just turned 68 last month, the same month she entered hospice care, 8 years after being diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease, though 10 years after starting to show symptoms. Alzheimer's Disease is always rough, but getting it at such a young age, has not only taken her away from me too early, but also my children, her only grandchildren, who don't remember who she used to be, the wonderful grandma she was to them as babies, only as the grandma who sits in a chair and doesn't know who they are.

It's truly heartbreaking and it's been such a long, difficult journey for us all. Two years ago, she moved to memory care, and now, in the past month since she entered hospice, she's gone downhill fast. I knew when she entered hospice and stopped eating that it wouldn't be long...for a whole month I feared she'd die on my birthday...and she almost did. Just missed it by 25 minutes.

Even if you've read my blog post about my mom's journey with Alzheimer's before, I added more since she passed, if you want to read that addition here.

As an only child, I started prepping for her funeral, picking out songs, readings, and pictures within the past month since she started receiving hospice services. I bought funeral clothes for my boys, made sure my husband and I have something to wear as well, and have been journaling my way through this.

It's incredibly hard to lose a parent, even when you know it's been coming for years.

I don't mean to burden you with this, and I hope you don't mind me sharing. I just feel like I'm lying to you if I don't let you know this huge thing in my life, as I share so much else with all of you.

I honestly wrote this email before she died, and now that she's gone, it's even harder to write coherently, so I apologize if I'm all over the place right now. Grief is weird and difficult.

Now that I'm done planning her funeral, I'm working on adding detail to my end-of-life documents and planning my own funeral so my kids don't have to.

This isn't all about me though. I want to let you know of a few things I suggest you do for your kids, or next of kin, that will help them in the end.

• Ensure you have a Living Will, a very detailed Healthcare Directive, and a Durable Power of Attorney (Google these terms to find out more of what they are, I'm just learning as I go as well).
• Within these documents, be very detailed, such as if you want to continue to receive food and fluids even if you have a terminal illness, and if you want life-saving techniques such as CPR, IV fluids, or feeding tubes.
• If possible, plan out your funeral. This may include the type of ceremony you want, where you want it to be, songs for your service, etc.

As I was writing this email, I decided to write out a whole blog post about this. If you'd like to read it, you can below.

End-of-Life Planning To Do Now To Help Your Kids Later Read Blog Post

Thanks for reading, and I hope this latest blog post helps you. No matter how young you are, it's never too young to get started planning these things, as hard as it is.

My mom's funeral was yesterday, though I have to say, I feel like I'm grieving even more now that her funeral is over.

Nicole Prom, M.S.Ed., Ed.S.

Founder/Blogger at TheWayitReallyIs.com​

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