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Hi Reader,

I hope your week has started out better than ours. I don't mean to be a downer but my blog is "The Way it Really Is" and it isn't all sunshine and rainbows.

Trigger warning: death is discussed.

A week ago was the 9 year anniversary of when my dear grandpa died, whom I was really close to all my life.

Saturday was the 10 year anniversary of when my father-in-law died of cancer at the young age of 65. He never got to meet our kids, which is so sad for all. He would have had so much fun with tricking us with our identical twins, if nothing else. We spent the day with my husband's side of the family which was a nice way to remember him.

My cat, who found me 16 years ago, is nearing the end. I've known her longer than I've known my husband and she's helped me through some rough times in life. I'm a mess right now, but I know she's lived a long lovely life with us and we're grateful for that. She's the type of cat who is always in my lap, basically all day, so it'll be a huge change without her.

In case you have to deal with the loss of a pet anytime soon, here are some things we've done in the past few days to prep ourselves and our kids, as she's been around their whole lives:

• Talk to them openly about how her body is shutting down
• Try to keep her comfortable with blankets, including blankets on her since her body temp is lowering. Typically she doesn't like them on her but things are different now.
• Trying to keep them calm around her (which is really, really hard with 3 active boys)
• Encouraging them to say goodbyes to her as we don't know when she'll pass
• Letting her know that when she does die, her eyes may be open still so it may be a bit alarming if they go to pet her and she doesn't move.
• Using the actual words "die" and "death" instead of "passing" because it's confusing to kids when we try to soften the blow. What does passing mean?
• Letting her know that after she dies we'll bury her in our flower bed in the backyard with a marker to remember her by.
• We're talking about our favorite memories with her and I'm working on making a memory book that I'll have printed for us all to remember her by.
• I'm looking up in-home euthanasia resources in case we need them, if she starts to seem like she's in a lot of pain. Hopefully she can pass peacefully and on her own but good to have the option.
• As her primary caregiver for her whole life and main companion she's attached to, I'm spending as much time with her on my lap as I can. Soaking up all the cuddles we both can.

I've noticed in the past few years that a lot of people around my age are losing pets these days. It seems a lot of us got pets around the same point in life, mid-20s, and now they're passing. It's hard, but at least I'm not alone.

The kids keep wanting to talk about when we get another pet but I just can't right now, especially out of respect for her while she's still here. You know?

Below is one of my first photos of her when I found her outside as a stray. Sweet girl.

There are so many photos we have of her over the years and this is such a shock as she had been doing better lately but, sometimes things happen that way.

I'll just share one more of her this morning, though she's barely able to walk, not eating, and barely drinking, she still promptly sat in a box today when the kids were playing a game.

If you have pets, give them big hugs for me and enjoy the time you have with them.

Nicole Prom, Ed.S.

Founder/Blogger at TheWayitReallyIs.com

P.S. Use the code Newsletter20 for an extra 20% off at my shop of over 100 products!

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